Arguing semantics. What’s the definition again?
Being drunk isn’t so bad. The fact I’m alone and unable to sleep oh and horny is the real tragedy.
RT @MoistPork: Sometimes when you’re an emotional wreck, there’s nothing like a good bang to remove the dents.
There is not enough counseling available for this much psychosis.
Benefit of dating a guy with a peanut alergy is you’re always one meal away from letting him know how you really feel. Kung Pao?
I’m going to need your mouth later. Just the random things I spew verbably ;)
Dating someone for only a week and I’m already missing my freedom.
No I believe hate sums it up perfectly with the right amount of strength. Thank you Mr. Unsolicited advice.
Whoever invented techno should be shot.
All this not giving a fuck makes me want to get drunk!
RT @TequilaTears: Since when does the pick up line “My penis wants to buy you a DVD player” not work on black Friday?
Thanks for the birthday love you guys rock! ;)
I ask you where you work not because I care but so I can come there and waste an hour of your time with stupid questions as well.
Pretty much famous when you have shots made just for you. ;) http://t.co/ptcENGnO
The following message may contain emoticons that may or may not represent actual facial expressions. Do not attempt to lol in response.
Why do I ever try to explain myself. There really is no rhyme or reason to crazy people.
I’m not against being alone. I am however, against these ‘buy one entree get another entree free’ ads that mock me.
I eat like a king on veterans day. Next up my free bloomin onion.
RT @farleftcoast: Tweets after 10PM are just like the ugly people you use to fuck in college. They’re alcohol induced and gone in the mo …
My life could use more sex Now No really now?
RT @capricecrane: You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don’t scroll through the …
Calling yourself Frank doesn’t make your advice any more worth listening to. Feel free to be Frank tho.
RT @LittleHarmonica: Probably a sign that you’re actually using the drugs you tweet about, is if you know how to spell them correctly.
RT @matttuff: When I yawn I worry that deaf people think I’m laughing at them.
You don’t get stars by the character people. 140 isn’t winning.
Of all the things I do in a given day getting out of bed is the most difficult.
Being confident, quick witted, and all around amazing with guys is really easy. Right up until I actually like the guy.
RT @beingtheo: Oh how I dream of writing the perfect tweet without mentioning any bodily fluids or functions.
A glimpse of a fleeting moment spent - Looking inside your open eyes I lost myself in a whirlwind ride… http://t.co/N87eX0dK
Looking inside your open eyes
I lost myself in a whirlwind ride
Unmasked, stark naked, outside my world
I had built brick by brick, white flag unfurled
What is it you have? What is it you do?
That crazy feeling you bring right thru
I stutter, stammer like a girl I once knew
Eager, determined to find what is true
The nights we lay naked, feel you inside
Deeper and closer my climax I ride
I choke, my heart stops, breathe I can not take
My eyes well slowly, I’m fully awake
Every inch on my body completely alive
Senses on overload, you brush my side
My body trembles I quickly fall weak
I search for the words I can not speak
Your eyes see thru me, you stare so long
I break into smile, my corny love song
If only time can stay just like this…
My heart’s desire, this my bliss.
Sunsets and rainbows, billowy clouds and dreams
The thoughts of girls innocent, naively stream
Lie in bed completely awake
I stare at the blank landscape
No dreams or drifting thoughts
Just space, a void, subconsious sought
Yearning desire for clarity or purpose
Something tangible just under the surface
I reach to only push farther away
The things for others for me never stay
I’m awkward and clumsy, completely a mess
Over analyze each thought my mind gives way
Unspoken thoughts piled on put at bay
My eye lids depress my pupils fix
Im alive but asleep, awake and dead
Time to put this life to bed
Being voted most likely to succeed would be alot cooler if Seed was a total hottie.
If I were ever to end it all I’d totally do it frogger style.
You’re a bartender and you’re married? That’s against my laws of physics.
Is rocket science even a thing anymore?
Pointing out my typos is like pointing out a Kardashian is an attention whore. It’s been done.
My jedi mind tricks could use more force. Or alcohol.
I have the best friends ever. Too bad they’re trapped in my head.
I don’t believe in one night stands. So if I fuck you the first time I meet you I will be scheduling a coffee date for the following week.
Only @adamlevine could wear all white after labor day!
Annoying is pushing on a door that says push for some random know it all to pull and it opens.
Sure she’s cute but you still have to listen to her talk from time to time. How’s that working out?
Shooting staples is kind of like pencils. Atleast he has another eye.